Saying Good Bye

I keep meaning to update, but life has been a bit of a whirl wind the past month. So I will start my update today with a tid-bit from this past month.

Saying Good Bye

Steve’s grandfather, Nick or Dzeda,( meaning “grandpa” in Russian I am told) passed away this year in August. He and his wife Luba, “Baboonya” (you guessed it, grandma in Russian), were married for 60 years.

Dzeda and Baboonya - two amazing people!

Funny how the Lord zigzags us all around, making a beautiful tapestry called life. I’m so thankful for the people that have been weaved into my life. Put there for various reasons. Dzeda and Baboonya adopted me as one of their grandchildren and blessed me as one of their own. Their kindness to me and my family are beyond words. They have had a huge impact on my life through their family.

Steve and I were blessed to be able to take a trip down to Los Angeles for the funeral. Dzeda – being a Molokan ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molokan) was buried in the traditional Molokan way. I was honored that I, being non-Molokan, was able to be a part of this beautiful experience. Molokan funerals are very different from traditional American funerals. One thing really standing out, everyone dresses in White.  Including, a sharp and peaceful looking Dzeda in his White suit, White shoes and White casket. Women wear a Kasinka, a head covering that is traditional for women to wear for funerals, weddings and church services. The funerals usually are two days, but since Dzeda lived in Oregon, he had a one day funeral service in Gervais and then the traditional two day service in LA.

Our whole family was able to travel and meet up. It was a blessing to see family we hadn’t seen in years and be able to catch up. Getting to see David & Erica was such a delight! (They have been a huge help for us with our adoption process.)

We met family and relatives we had never met face to face and talked and shared with new friends. Our family had a great visit with Pop’s father. (Guess what his name is...How did you know it was George?) Steve and I were able to stay with our close friends Aaron and Esther and their adorable little blonde cutie, Logan. We are so grateful to them for their hospitality! We even got to relax and lounge around pool side for a little bit thanks to Aaron’s mother, Ellen. Most of our family stayed with her. (What a sweet woman and what a gorgeous place to stay!)  Thankfully, we were able to get some great pictures with family and even got to do some sightseeing in between all the other stuff we were doing.

Being a part of this was an amazing experience for me. Culturally it was a bit different but in that good sort of way. It is good to be taken out of our comfort zone sometimes. Emotionally it was tough. It was a process of mourning, remembrance and embracing a life well lived. Seeing the fruitful vine and seeing firsthand the promises God keeps. Letting go and saying good bye at least for now, knowing it is only for a short time. Tough to explain how you can have a heavy heart and yet at the same time, a heart filled with joy. The funeral was beautiful.

We all stood close by as Dzeda was lowered into the ground on that second day by his grandsons. Molokan men stood on one side and women on the other all singing in Russian a rhythmic chant. It made the moment beautiful and surreal. All of us dressed in White, each standing with our handful of dirt. The deep and profound realization of what we truly are, Dirt. Dirt made a live.

Life…

It happens…

Fast!

And it is a most amazing gift.

We bloom, flower, wither and die.

Dzeda had such a kind and beautiful spirit. Hearing the wonderful words about this man, stories told of his kindness and Christ-like actions toward others, spoke of the type of man he was. You can see that by his legacy he leaves behind. He was loved and respected and noted many times for his sense of humor! Seeing Steve that day alongside his brothers and cousins, each taking turns shoveling dirt, tears in their eyes. Baboonya standing there looking on, being comforted and held by her children. She was surrounded by grandchildren and great grandchildren. This memory will forever be burned into my heart. Being there and creating that moment with my family. It gives hope and encouragement.  Our hearts humbled by our imperfections but with growing excitement at what is still to come. A continued legacy. God is good! 



Steve & I



Baboonya & Children



Baboonya & Children

Pop's Father, George

Ellen, George & Tanya



Erica



Family



Steve & Logan

Aaron, Logan, Steve & Esther

 






This is our story...So far...

Blog Blog Blog…Back in my day we didn’t have blogs…Oh wait, it is my day! So I guess I’ll just hop on board this blog train and blog away!!

All aboard!!

And away we go…

Well this is and will mostly be, for now, a blog about growing our family through adoption. Our own amazing lil’adventure! When I think of adventure, I think of rollercoaster’s and the very true words of my mother (right before I got married). She told me that life was just one big rollercoaster. Sometimes you hang on for dear life and other times, you toss those hands up out of pure joy. I went on my first rollercoaster while on my honeymoon in June of 1996. It was indeed full of ups and downs. I loved it and the fact that Steve was right beside me made it even more outstanding!!

I, the great and fabulous, cow loving, soccer playing, truck driving, country loving girl know as Angie, grew up in a small town. I went to a small school and met a nickel arcade loving, comic book reading, computer programming, artistically nerdy and VERY good looking boy who lived in a medium town, who went to a medium sized school. We met in early spring of 93 at Wal-Mart. YES! It is true; you really can find everything at “wacky wally world” even love! I’ll have to write about that adventure too..Someday.

Anyways.. Mooving along here.

At the ripe ol’age of 16, I met my future husband. Three years later, we were married in June 96. Steve…where to begin? He is amazing. Smart, funny, kind, witty, charming and every bit a goofball as I am! Best of all he loves me even with all my flaws…

And together with our powers combined, we are the future rulers of the universe and..oh wait, wrong blog.

Steve is a super great guy! He has all those wonderful qualities I knew I wanted in a man plus all the qualities that God knew I’d need in a man. Plus as an added bonus, free of charge, to help us build character, God tossed in a few annoying ones for us too. You know.. just to keep things interesting! My SteveO is my heart and he completes me. Yes I know it is corny but what else can I say?

So we were busy living life and loving our adventure so far and thought after 4-5 years, we should upgrade to the new and improved version of us.
I.e. Start our family. We did all the right things and patiently waited. And waited. And waited

And waited.

Lots of tests, poking, prodding, and getting personal with people we didn’t know. All this just to find out they just didn’t know why it wasn’t happening. It seemed so easy for everyone else. We waited some more. We watched our friends and family as they grew. Bitter sweet! So happy and yet a tinge of sadness, then came the guilt for being selfish.

And the whole time we’d get advice from friends and family and even people we didn’t really know too well. Try this, do that, bla..Blaaaa BLAAA…Yadda yadda..relax..bla bla..have a few drinks..Bla bla bla..

While, I’m sure it was well meant… Good grief… The things people say!! Hahaha! Thankfully, we don’t take things too personally and most of the time we get a good kick out of it all. We know that Love was/is the biggest motivation. Sometimes though, I still dread meeting new people because it’s usually one of the first things I’m asked. I say no we don’t have any children. Then there is that vague, awkward and sometimes embarrassing moment where I don’t know if I should give more explanation or what.

So after all the testing, and waiting and not really knowing, we just took a breather. At some point you have to decide when to stop and move on in a different direction. After a long time, we finally decided to pursue adoption as a way to grow us into a family. Now, please understand that what I can easily write in a few paragraphs doesn’t begin to tell of the emotional sadness, pain, hurt and anger that we went through to get to where we are now. Even now we still have crazy mixed emotions to deal with day to day. There is a song that I like and one line of it goes “This is a story about a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world” Sometimes, I feel like that girl.

Most of the time, we try to keep our happy faces on! Fortunately, God gave us a good sense of humor, a large dose of faith and His undeserving mercy.

So this is our story...so far...

“Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning” (Lamentations 3:23).

My first blog!

I’m starting a blog everyone!! Hooray for me.

Like many things in life, the first step is the hardest.

Welp, I’ll be back to finish this up soon!